The only thing I can do about "things" is just to write about them. Is it the lust of having effect on things or is it just an intinct related to human nature that drives me crazy enough to write about writing and complain about it while I'm writing.

The probabilities are zero. The possibilities are as much as you desire. But where are those desired possibilites which become probable and come True?

Truth is a lie if looked statistically enough and this positivism is enough to drive you from sanity to insanity. [and] if Metaphysics is a lie what else we could do when there isn't any miracle.

There isn't any answer. Don't waste your time. Do what you do.